I love Halloween. I love the costumes, the decorations, the candy, the pumpkin patch, the trick-or-treating, and all the excitement that surrounds the holiday.
But I do not like the whole “scary” thing. Yeah. I just don’t do scary.
I do not go to haunted houses. They terrify me. I haven’t gone into one since I was a teenager – and event then, it was only under severe peer pressure and not wanting to be made fun of that I forced myself to step inside. I cannot watch scary movies, either. When I do, I obsess about it for weeks. I’m scared to walk to my car at night for fear of the alien-monster hybrid that may be lurking in the dark.
The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. – Psalm 118:6
I don’t answer the phone late at night because I’m sure it’s some hundred-year-old curse that will tell me how many days I have left to live. Yes, I am 50 years old, but when I watch a scary movie, I apparently lose my firm grip on reality. I will lay awake in my bed at night, unwilling to go to the bathroom that is less than ten feet away because I’m sure some paranormal entity or psychotic killer is waiting there for me.
If you don’t believe me, just ask my family. I’m a big chicken when it comes to that type of thing.
While this season has so many wonderful things I enjoy, it’s also a struggle for me because it brings to the surface some of my greatest fears. As unrealistic as I know they are, they still frighten me.
What I do like about this season is the frame of reference it gives me in my faith. There are scary things in life – real things that are terrifying – like cancer, disease, abuse, death of loved ones. There are things that our human bodies just aren’t equipped to deal with, things that simply overwhelm us when they may happen and can make us doubt God’s never-ending love.
When my children used to come to me with their childhood fears, it was so easy for me to tell them not to be afraid because God is always with them and always watching over them. It’s just not so easy as an adult to always feel, know, and live that.
There are so many psalms that speak to me at these times.
The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. – Psalm 118:6
The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of who should I be afraid? – Psalm 27:1
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23:4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? – Psalm 56: 3-4
Over and over again our mighty Lord tells us not to be afraid. He’s got this. He’s got us – in His strong protective hands. And while our lives are still filled with scary and horrible things because of the sin of this world, He is with us through every single one.
He is with us when we hear the doctor’s test results that we didn’t want.
He is with us when we grieve for lost loved ones.
He is with us when we have the covers pulled up to our nose and are internally debating how many seconds it will take to dash ten feet to the bathroom in the middle of the night after we thought it was a good idea to watch the latest scary movie … well, maybe that’s just me. He’s still there.
Working on my fearless faith,
Dina Newsom
